I have this thing against squirrels. Back when I was in college, one of those suckers jumped down off a tree, used my back as a springboard, then hit the ground running. That stinkin' fat rodent scared the daylights out of me when it did that, and I have held a grudge against those little furballs ever since.
Fast forward a few years. We live in a house that has a couple of trees providing shade to the front yard. I've gleefully snapped pictures and pointed out the birds and chipmunks that visit our yard to hang out in the trees or on our grass. The kidlets, however, are much more amused when fat rodents show up.
"Mommy, look at that squirrel! It's running across our front porch!" "Mommy, look at that squirrel digging in our lawn. Think he's looking for some acorns?" "Look at those two squirrels chasing each other up the tree!" They could sit and watch those creatures forever.
Lately, I've noticed a particularly fat rodent has staked out his claim to our yard. He spends his day digging up our lawn. He chases other fat rodents up and down the trees. I swear I've seen him trying to eat the brush we keep out to clean off our muddy shoes. When I go out, I often return home to discover him sitting on our front porch. He's just hanging out, happy to be out of the tree, I suppose. I would not be surprised to see him pull out a pair of shades and plunk himself down on a lawn chair one of these days. I kind of wonder whether he is checking out all the other fat rodents that stroll by, in the hopes of landing a date. He certainly seems gleeful enough, chattering wildly away as he chases them.
Horse and Rooster absolutely adore this fat rodent. (Horse actually goes out of her way to point out every single squirrel she sees, knowing how much I detest them.) They've probably named "our" squirrel and look forward to his arrival. Pig Jr. can't be bothered worrying about fuzzy gray animals; he's more interested in trying to catch the birds that are out to steal our grass seed. He has, on occasion, accidentally scared away "our" squirrel in his enthusiastic lunge for those with feathers. My son has inadvertently got my back on this one.
I suppose that years from now, when the kidlets are all off at college and my empty house is echoing dolefully, I will look out the window and spy a fat rodent, possibly the same dang one, plunked down in the middle of my yard. Instead of running out on the lawn, waving my arms like a wild woman, and trying to scare it away, I will stop and just watch that tiny creature as it makes its way around the yard. I will remember how much my girls loved seeing squirrels, and how they could just stare at them forever. I will probably feel a lump in my throat just thinking about them. Squirels will one day bring a smile to my face as I remember the small children that once looked longingly at the wild animals and asked if they could keep one.
Until that day, you'll know me because I'm the lunatic out on the front lawn, swearing in parent-speak ("Dagnabit, you stinkin' fat rodent! Get off my lawn!"), chasing after a squirrel that's clearly laughing at me.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Watching paint dry
In my infinite lack of wisdom, I have decided that each and every room in the house needs a fresh coat of paint. We've lived in this house for nine years, and our walls have a number of spackle blotches, crayon marks, fingerprints, and dents from things being dropped or accidentally kicked into them. It is time to fix this situation.
Yesterday, Pig took Horse on a father-daughter date to have lunch and see a movie. While they were gone, I decided to redo the accent wall in our living room. I neglected to factor in how interesting this would be to Rooster and Pig Jr.
Rooster and Pig Jr. were excellent helpers while I was getting ready to paint. They helped carry drop cloths, spread out all the painting supplies, and took turns handing me the tape as I prepared. They giggled when I changed into my painting clothes ("Mommy, your clothes have paint on them already! You're silly!") and scolded me for not using a cleaner stepstool ("Mommy, you should paint over all the paint spots on your ladder so it's pretty again.").
They gleefully stood back and watched me apply a coat of paint. That's when things got complicated. Turns out, a six-year old and a four-year old aren't very good at watching paint dry. Who knew?
The kidlets had no clue that stepping on the drop cloths might put paint on their feet, which would then transfer it to wherever they stepped thereafter. They kept walking close to the wet wall, and I'm convinced that the only reason for doing this was to make the vein in my forehead bulge. They came up with any and every possible excuse to get as close as physically possible to every single drop of wet paint in our house.
By the time the rest of the family returned home from their movie, I was exhausted, more from trying to keep Rooster and Pig Jr. away from the drying paint than from the actual act of painting.
Eventually, after about seven hours' worth of work, I showed the family the newly painted wall. They all agreed that it looked exactly like it did before, and I'm still not sure if that means I did the job well or botched it up.
Yesterday, Pig took Horse on a father-daughter date to have lunch and see a movie. While they were gone, I decided to redo the accent wall in our living room. I neglected to factor in how interesting this would be to Rooster and Pig Jr.
Rooster and Pig Jr. were excellent helpers while I was getting ready to paint. They helped carry drop cloths, spread out all the painting supplies, and took turns handing me the tape as I prepared. They giggled when I changed into my painting clothes ("Mommy, your clothes have paint on them already! You're silly!") and scolded me for not using a cleaner stepstool ("Mommy, you should paint over all the paint spots on your ladder so it's pretty again.").
They gleefully stood back and watched me apply a coat of paint. That's when things got complicated. Turns out, a six-year old and a four-year old aren't very good at watching paint dry. Who knew?
The kidlets had no clue that stepping on the drop cloths might put paint on their feet, which would then transfer it to wherever they stepped thereafter. They kept walking close to the wet wall, and I'm convinced that the only reason for doing this was to make the vein in my forehead bulge. They came up with any and every possible excuse to get as close as physically possible to every single drop of wet paint in our house.
By the time the rest of the family returned home from their movie, I was exhausted, more from trying to keep Rooster and Pig Jr. away from the drying paint than from the actual act of painting.
Eventually, after about seven hours' worth of work, I showed the family the newly painted wall. They all agreed that it looked exactly like it did before, and I'm still not sure if that means I did the job well or botched it up.
Welcome to life as I know it
Welcome to life as I know it. After having numerous friends and family members request that I write more often, and determining they are gluttons for punishment for requesting such a thing, I have succumbed to the lure of the blog.
I feel that there are a few disclaimers I need to put out there as we start this journey together. First of all, I am often snarky, and I recognize that might not translate well into the printed word. Please accept my humblest of apologies if my sarcasm comes across harsher than I intended. Secondly, since I mostly blather about the people and situations I know, I will be changing names to protect, well, to protect me lest people get miffed. I figure that my kidlets might enjoy knowing Mom is writing about them now, but that will change as they get older.
Oddly enough, my largest hesitation in putting hands to the keyboard here was my inability to come up with names for my family. It was hard enough naming the kidlets when they were born. Coming up with new names was tantamount to torture. I toyed with using the astrological signs, but then the powers that be changed them and I can't be bothered re-learning something that I never took seriously in the first place. I finally settled on using the Chinese zodiac animals since they are easy enough to look up in the event that I blank and forget what names I am supposed to use. The fact that I now have the excuse to innocently call my hubby "Pig" was an added bonus.
That being said, let me introduce myself to you as Dragon. I have been happily married to Pig for ten years now. Together we have three kidlets: Horse and Rooster, our daughters, and Pig Jr., our son. I am a stay-at-home mom who often forgets what life was like back in the pre-kid days, but I blame that lack of memory on all the brain cells that the kidlets took from me during their respective pregnancies. I am sure that you will be hearing a lot about our little family throughout this journey.
Welcome once more to life as I know it. It might be a bumpy ride, but it sure has its fun times.
I feel that there are a few disclaimers I need to put out there as we start this journey together. First of all, I am often snarky, and I recognize that might not translate well into the printed word. Please accept my humblest of apologies if my sarcasm comes across harsher than I intended. Secondly, since I mostly blather about the people and situations I know, I will be changing names to protect, well, to protect me lest people get miffed. I figure that my kidlets might enjoy knowing Mom is writing about them now, but that will change as they get older.
Oddly enough, my largest hesitation in putting hands to the keyboard here was my inability to come up with names for my family. It was hard enough naming the kidlets when they were born. Coming up with new names was tantamount to torture. I toyed with using the astrological signs, but then the powers that be changed them and I can't be bothered re-learning something that I never took seriously in the first place. I finally settled on using the Chinese zodiac animals since they are easy enough to look up in the event that I blank and forget what names I am supposed to use. The fact that I now have the excuse to innocently call my hubby "Pig" was an added bonus.
That being said, let me introduce myself to you as Dragon. I have been happily married to Pig for ten years now. Together we have three kidlets: Horse and Rooster, our daughters, and Pig Jr., our son. I am a stay-at-home mom who often forgets what life was like back in the pre-kid days, but I blame that lack of memory on all the brain cells that the kidlets took from me during their respective pregnancies. I am sure that you will be hearing a lot about our little family throughout this journey.
Welcome once more to life as I know it. It might be a bumpy ride, but it sure has its fun times.
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