I detest last minute shopping. I write my lists out ahead of time and I try to accomplish as much as possible before the stores get crowded. (I know this is kind of ironic for someone who loves shopping on Black Friday and will wake up at two o'clock in the morning just to be in the middle of the mob scene, but that is actually an exception to my normal rule.) So when two out of the three kidlets came home from school at the end of June with their back-to-school supply lists for next year, I figured I could take my time and do this the easy way instead of trying to fight hordes of crazed parents the first week in September.
My first attempt at shopping occurred about a week ago during the month of July. Okay, so it was towards the end of the month, but it was still pretty darn early given that the kidlets don't go back until after Labor Day. The back-to-school section in the store looked like a tornado hit it. Complete sections of supplies looked as if locusts had swooped down and devoured the large glue sticks, certain types of crayons, and the black dry-erase markers I needed. I made the mistake of asking someone stocking the shelves whether the big, gaping holes of necessary supplies were still waiting to be unpacked from some box somewhere. She looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "Lady, people have been buying school supplies for a month now. That stuff is long gone." Hmmm. That did not bode well, but since I had forgotten the lists at home and was trying to shop from memory, I figured that I would buy what I thought the kidlets needed, and I would try again later.
My second shopping attempt a whole whopping twenty-four hours later involved me first returning about thirty dollars' worth of school supplies that I had purchased without actually needing. Oops. Then I went off in search of the remaining items on the lists. I picked up what I could, asked another person stocking if the missing items were going to resurface anytime soon (I got the same reply, which makes me think the store's employees were in cahoots trying to horde certain items to sell at hugely inflated prices at a later date.) and paid through the nose for one of the world's ugliest notebooks, that just happened to be the last remaining three-subject notebook in the store, which said "i heart everything" on its disgusting cover. It did not even have a cutesy little heart. It wrote out the word and had the audacity to not use proper capitalization. I still had quite a few items that I had to purchase, but I figured I would try another store in the hopes that someone else ordered school supplies in sufficient quantities.
Our third trip was passed off onto Pig. I sent Horse with him to a different store so they could try and find the required large glue stick and a backpack for her. They found both items, but proved once and for all that Horse only likes really hideous backpacks. The colors clashed and had one of the most bizarre flower patterns I have ever seen. I am fairly certain that staring at it for too long will cause someone to go blind, which would be a blessed relief after looking at that repulsive backpack. They did manage to find a less-grotesque three-subject notebook for her, too.
Trip number four was a botched attempt to purchase backpacks for the other two kidlets. There were about two possible choices each, and neither one would fit the kidlets' lunchboxes. (Thankfully, I had already purchased lunchboxes, so we did not need to go off in search of them, too.)
Today was our fifth shopping trip. It was to return to the original store in order to return the ugly three-subject notebook. I did appreciate the irony behind returning "i heart everything" when it was clear we did not "heart" it. We discovered that additional backpacks were hung out today, so both Pig Jr. and Rooster were able to choose ones to their satisfaction. Rooster clearly shares her sister's delight in purchasing hideously ugly backpacks. In fact, both Pig and I determined that Rooster's new bag made Horse's bag look positively exquisite.
I found it highly amusing that Pig Jr.'s backpack had a design name that included the word "sensory" in it. A sensory backpack is clearly attractive to a sensory kidlet!
When we returned home from today's shopping spree, I separated all of the items into three piles, depending on who needed what for school. I packed everything away in the correct backpack and shoved them into closets. At least now I won't be tripping over bags of back-to-school supplies.
I took a three-dollar package of designer pencils for Pig Jr. and started sharpening them. The first pencil kept refusing to keep its point intact. I had to sharpen that sucker all the way down to a three-and-a-half inch length for it to remain usable. I gave up on the second pencil when it was down to four-and-a-half inches and still not sharpened. The third pencil frustrated me by the time it reached five inches. I gave up and merely glared at the rest of them. These pencils are obviously worthless when each tiny point breaks off repeatedly. It appears that I will be taking Horse's and Rooster's pencils back to the store since I bought all three kidlets the same brand of pencils just in different designs. I suppose that will be for trip number six.
I have given up on most of the remaining items on the school lists. Some of them will be tweaked. For example, I plan on sending in two four-ounce containers of glue instead of the one eight-ounce one that is requested. The teachers will just have to cope. It is time for me to give up this battle over school supplies for the girls. I am clearly not the victor here. Here's hoping when Pig Jr. finally gets his list in the mail it will be for items I have already purchased. Six trips to the store should be more than enough.
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