Monday, June 20, 2011

The need for a drive-by Zolofting

There have been a number of times in my life when I have suffered from depression. The most recent bouts of it were a direct result of producing those three very special kidlets who I love more than life itself. Postpartum depression, however, makes my hate list. It is such a horrible thing for a new mother to feel like there is no reason to live. I was fortunate in that my own experience left me wanting to end my own life, not my child's, and I (obviously) did not go through with such an action. There are less-fortunate mothers out there, and my heart breaks for them. After my first bout with postpartum depression, I was cognizant enough about how horrific it was to tell my doctor about my experience so that once kidlets number two and three arrived, I was promptly put on antidepressants. Zoloft became my best friend for a number of months after the birth of them both.

To this day, I absolutely adore Zoloft. I no longer need a prescription, but I no longer consider antidepressants to have a negative stigma attached to them. I will tell absolutely anyone who is listening that if they feel depressed, then get thee to a doctor. Zoloft does not work for everybody, and I am sure the list of side-effects is probably long enough to cover the side of a barn, but it worked for me, and for that I am extremely grateful.

I probably feel more grateful than I should, truth be told. I have turned into a one-woman unpaid spokesperson for a pharmaceutical company. I am not sure whether I should be on  the lookout for their lawyers telling me to shaddup, or whether they would give me a pat on the back for so wildly endorsing their product.

So I suppose I should not be surprised to hear that someone's first thought upon starting to read the same depressing book I was reading was to wonder whether I had some Zoloft handy. Unfortunately, that comment made me start thinking, which we all know is a very bad idea.

Can you imagine what life would be like if instead of drive-by shootings, people only had to worry about drive-by Zoloftings? Instead of a car full of angry individuals wearing gang colors and waving some pretty imposing weaponry, we could have a car full of scientists in white lab coats wielding dart guns loaded with antidepressants. Someone leaning against a retaining wall looking miserable? Bam. Zolofted. The author of an incredibly depressing book out on an autograph signing? Bam. Zolofted. A family of four sitting in a semi-vegetative state in front of the television set during the nightly news? Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Zolofted. The applications would be nearly endless. Drive-by Zolofters could be placed at strategic locations during political rallies, any kind of protest, memorial services, and anywhere else depression might run amok.

Naturally, such an event is unlikely to ever occur. Antidepressants do often run the increased risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors among certain users, which means they need to be monitored carefully. They are also prescription items, have the ability to react badly to an allergic individual, and have not, in my completely unresearched opinion, been approved for use on an emergency widespread basis. Drive-by Zoloftings are never going to be medically endorsed or even looked upon as a humorous possibility. But a postpartum depression survivor can dream, can't she?

No comments:

Post a Comment