While in my basement, arms overloaded with the laundry I was pulling out of the dryer, I heard my pocketed cell phone start ringing. Knowing that few people call me on my cell, I immediately threw the laundry into a basket and answered the phone. I heard the same thing I have heard numerous times before, "Hello, I am trying to reach Damian [insert unintelligible last name here]."
Now, last time I checked, my real name was not Damian, nor am I male like the name Damian implies. Pig and Pig Jr.'s real names are not Damian either. I am assuming this means that, once again, this mystery Damian has given out the wrong cell phone number. Given the sheer volume of people trying to reach him at this number, I can assume that either he has to give out his number a lot and does not truly want people to reach him, he is really bad at numbers and transposes them often, or he used to have this number at some point in time and never bothered updating his contact list.
So when I heard today's female caller requesting this individual, I laughed. I could not help myself. I told her, "You and about twenty other people, and I'll tell you the same thing I told them: this is not Damian's number and I have no idea who he is to even tell him to stop handing it out."
There was the briefest of pauses before the lady responded, "Oh, really? That's interesting because I am reading it off of his resume." I guess this answers the question why I am fielding so many calls for this particular stranger.
For a few minutes, the mystery caller and I laughed our fool heads right off our shoulders. We both agreed that it does not bode well for him getting the position he desires when he cannot even handle typing in the correct phone number. In this crumbling economy, the prudent decision would be to proofread one's resume before sending it out en masse. Instead, Damian made a mistake and his potential future employers are calling and dealing with a frazzled stay-at-home mom who is getting more and more snarky with each erroneous phone call received.
In a way, I feel bad for Damian. He must obviously have an impressive resume to get so many people trying to reach him. Unfortunately, it must really make employers wonder what else is incorrect on it. Did he just make and fail to catch two randomly transposed numbers? Did he not have a contact number and made one up instead? Was his entire resume fabricated? If he missed this one detail, how many other oversights can be expected should he be hired? At least today's caller told me that if she is able to contact Damian, she will let him know his phone number is incorrect on his resume.
Now it is completely within the realm of possibility that six months ago, my current cell phone number was Damian's. It did not become mine until three months ago. He might have put the correct number on his resume, mailed it out, then not heard anything, lost the phone number for whatever reason, and then it was reassigned to me. Sometimes, employers hold resumes for a number of months to paw through as needed.
Most likely, I will never find out how my number came to be on the resume of a complete stranger. However, it has taught me something important. Always check and double-check information before sending it to potential employers. If your contact information changes, send them a corrected copy with an explanation. And above all else, do not trust your cell phone number for your next job to someone like me. I guarantee I will point out to your callers how unprofessional it is to have the incorrect information printed on something like a resume. At least one of them agrees with me, too. Sorry, Damian, but that's just how it is.
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