Friday, June 22, 2012

A contract for my kidlets...

Now that summer vacation is upon us, I have the strangest urge to request my kidlets sign a contract declaring exactly how they will behave on our break from school...

I, [insert kidlet's name here], being the obedient offspring of [insert parents' names here], do solemnly pledge to adhere to the following declarations to the best of my ability:

1) The only person I have control over is me. I will not yell at my siblings, boss them around, or tell them they have to do exactly as I say. I don't like it when they do that to me, so I shall do my best to lead by example and not treat them as if they are my minions.

2) The word "compromise" does not mean you have to do what I say or vice versa. Everybody has to give a little, especially when playing together as a group. I will neither be part of a group trying to exclude someone, nor will I be the lone holdout refusing to do anything but the one thing I want to do that everyone else hates.

3) Taking turns is not an option. It is mandatory. We cannot all do everything at exactly the same time. Also, if someone agrees to play a game I want to play, I will agree to take a turn playing a game they want to play.

4) The words, "I'm telling," shall not be reiterated over and over until Mommy starts twitching and making comments about a "broken record-player," whatever that is. If I have a legitimate reason to not want to play with someone (i.e. because they pinch me when their mom isn't looking), or if someone is going to hurt themselves or others, I will let an adult know immediately. Otherwise, I shall refrain from being a tattle-tale.

5) Mom, Dad, and/or any babysitter left in charge are the only ones who have the right to boss me around. Even then, I have the right to ignore what they say for me to do. I acknowledge and accept that there will be consequences for disobeying or ignoring the adult in charge. If I do not like the consequences, I have no one to blame but myself.

6) I shall look out for those who are unable to defend themselves. I shall speak out against bullying even if it occurs away from the schoolyard. Telling someone to stop picking on someone else is not bossing someone around. It is doing the right thing. And telling an adult if the bullying does not stop is not tattling.

7) I will work on my summer math and reading packets a little bit almost every day. I will not cause gray hairs to sprout on Mommy's head because I left it all to the last week in August and now I don't have time to finish. My education is my responsibility. That is my job, and I shall do it to the best of my ability.

8) I will read for at least twenty minutes every day, and I will do this without an adult having to tell me to do so. Nagging is not an Olympic sport, and my folks should not have to practice their nagging skills as if trying out to receive a gold medal in that category.

9) I will not ask to watch television, play on an electronic gadget, or otherwise attempt to rot my brain until after my chores and school-related tasks are completed. I understand that my chores are based on my age and ability level, and shall not gripe that I have more to do than my younger sibling(s). I also understand that failure to complete my tasks or doing a shoddy job on them will result in me losing privileges and/or being forced to do them over again. I recognize that Mom does check underneath my bed and in my closet to make sure a clean room is indeed clean. If there's a chance she pulled a similar stunt as a kidlet, I shall not be shocked or offended when she catches me if I attempt the same thing.

10) I will not declare having to make my bed, fold and put away clothing, and keep my room clean to be tantamount to torture. If I am old enough to read this form, I am old enough to do those tasks and more. Also, if additional chores are required of me when I am home from school, I shall acknowledge that these are assigned not to torture me, but because I am a member of this family and we all have to chip in and do our part.

11) If I have a friend over to play, his or her actions are my responsibility. If he or she steals my little brother's toys, breaks something intentionally or through carelessness, or hits my sister, I am just as guilty. It is possible that a particular kidlet will be sent home early or not allowed back in our house if they misbehave badly while here. Guilt by association will mean additional consequences shall follow for me, too.

12) If any amendments are needed, this contract can and will be changed by the aforementioned adult(s), without any moaning or complaining on my part.

Signed,
[insert kidlet's signature]

Witnessed by: [insert signature of witnessing adults]

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