"I'm not a big boy anymore!"

Poor Pig Jr. He's had a rough day. I kept him home from school so his doctor could check out his nasty cough and raspy breathing. The doctor pronounced it to be a case of bad allergies and gave him a flu shot over Pig Jr.'s quite vocal objections. Pig Jr. has been walking around holding his left arm stiffly ever since then, and he has been crying at the drop of a hat.

Just now, I set up the shower so he could get cleaned up for the day. As he started to disrobe, he started sobbing. He cried throughout the whole shower, saying "it takes too long" for him to clean himself. Well, he's not a baby anymore. He needs to be handling more and more of his own shower so that he can become more independent sometime before he turns thirty. As he started towel-drying himself off afterwards, he informed me, "I'm not a big boy anymore!"

My heart just about broke. My son, who so often fights for his independence, wants to be Mommy's little boy again. Granted, he's four years old. I still consider him to be little even though he usually demands recognition of having turned into a big boy. At times like this, he does not want that recognition. He wants to return to whatever felt safe, secure, and, most likely, nice and lazy for him. I can't say I blame him there, although I certainly am not likely to want to have to handle doing everything for him again. What is relatively easy to accomplish for an infant is a lot more complicated to try doing for a four-year-old.

Besides, Pig Jr. has officially passed the weight in which I will voluntarily carry him anywhere. My standard is as follows: When the kidlet's current weight surpasses the amount of weight I put on during his or her pregnancy, they lose the right to have me carry them anywhere. I do make exceptions for emergencies, but I hope to never have to deal with emergency situations. Do not fear that I would make my child hobble his way into the emergency room if he broke his leg. (Truth be told, I'd probably make his father carry him into the ER in that situation, but let's not get technical.)

In all honesty, Pig Jr. would probably willingly accept it if I started spoon-feeding him again. He would not put up a fuss if I were to give him a bath, force him to take a daily nap, or put on his shoes before heading out somewhere. However, he would object to my picking out his clothing, determining his breakfast cereal for him, or trying to use a hand-over-hand method to help him color a picture. He does love his independence in a number of things.

But boy does it break my heart when he is sobbing and not wanting to be a big boy anymore. I guess it's a good thing he changed his mind again when I pointed out babies don't get to join their older sisters in watching a movie before dinner after a long and tiring day.