'Tis the Season...

The phone rang. This, in and of itself, is not overly surprising. The phone has been ringing off the hook today. Between well-wishers, medical folks calling to help me figure out what to do with Rooster's wacky digestive tract, and our realtor, who wants us to extend our time on the market and do another Open House, there has not been a heck of a lot of time for the cordless phone to recharge itself. This time, however, there was nothing but background noise and then a distinct click after I said "Hello?" for the second time. I was not amused.

When the phone rang again a few minutes later, I was wary. I should have just let it go to voicemail.

     Me: "Hello?"
     Phone lady: "Hello, Pig!"
     Me: "Do I sound like a Pig?"
     Phone lady: "No, not at all. I'm sorry, Mrs. Brawn. I did not hear you say hello at all."
     Me: "Uh-huh."
     Phone lady: "How are you doing today?"
     Me: "Cranky. Can you tell?"
     Phone lady: "I'm doing fine, too. Thanks for asking! I'm calling to see if you would like to donate to [insert charity and explanation of what they do here]."
     Me: "Ah, no. I doubt that you are going to give my husband the necessary raise to do that."
     Phone lady: "Ha ha ha! No, actually, we do not have that in our power. But we do have these other gift amounts that I can put you down for."
     Me: "I don't think you understand. I am sure you are a worthy charity. I am sure you are worthy of receiving donations. However, if there is no more income, there is no ability for money to flow outwards."
     Phone lady: *getting quite hyper and irate-sounding* "I see. But you don't have to pay now. You can just pledge now and pay later."
     Me: "Why would I do that? Are you giving my husband a raise later?"
     Phone lady: "You have a great holiday season! Bye-bye!"

Given that this is just the start of the holiday charity call season, I'm wondering why this lady was already not paying any attention to what I was saying. It's not even Thanksgiving yet. She can't be tired of giving this spiel already. Then again, given that the woman called from "unknown number," I cannot even guarantee she was really calling from a charity, regardless of her claims that her group [insert unintelligible mumble here] provides free mammograms to those women who cannot afford them. I wondered briefly whether I should have confused her by asking whether I was being offered that service.

Ultimately though, I'm just annoyed that I apparently sound like a male to an overly perky random female caller. If there's any karmic justice in this world, which I doubt, I'm hoping I was actually speaking to a man. That would serve him right. Have a great holiday season.