Speak Up So We're Not Alone

A friend of mine did something incredibly difficult today. She spoke up and talked about the massive panic attacks that hit her with her anxiety disorder. Now, she was not speaking from the perspective of someone who has been there, done that, and conquered all. She spoke from the perspective of someone currently battling with such issues, and that to me is far more difficult an experience to relate.

People facing anxiety attacks, depression, or any other psychological issues very often find it difficult to speak up to get the help they need. I say this from experience. When I was in the middle of postpartum depression after the birth of my eldest child, I was completely unable to talk about it. What was I going to say? "Gee, I spend every waking moment of every day just wishing I was dead." Yeah, can't see that one going over well. I was afraid I'd be locked in a padded room for the rest of my life and never see my husband or my beautiful baby girl again. So I said nothing until I became pregnant with my next child, and flat-out told my OB-GYN that I would lie to his face about feeling depressed after my baby was born. He wisely chose to start me on Zoloft (an antidepressant) immediately after giving birth. That doctor listening to me, and the medicine he prescribed, were lifesavers.

My friend spoke up now, while still suffering from panic attacks. I cannot even fathom the inner strength she must have in order to talk about her anxiety. As she pointed out, the more she talks about it, the more she realizes she is not alone. And she is definitely not alone. Numerous people suffer from similar problems, to varying degrees. However, what happens in far too many cases is what happened with me: No one talks about the problem. Not only do people not talk about what's going on, but they also live with the fear of having a stigma attached to them for having such problems. Never mind if it's a chemical imbalance in their brain, or something they were genetically predisposed to have. Never mind that there is no fault to be assigned. Somehow, those of us who suffer seem condemned to do so alone.

Here's where it needs to stop. We need to speak up. We need to talk about our experiences so that the stigmas attached to them disappear. Another friend of mine gave a speech a while back. He was talking specifically about special needs children, and how people still react as if there was something wrong with them. (Note: I have a special needs child. He is not as severe as many others are, but he still struggles with sensory issues, speech delays, low muscle tone, and reactive airways.) My friend talked about how we take wearing glasses for granted these days. If you cannot see properly, you get the help you need, through contacts, glasses, surgery, etc. and no one thinks less of you for seeking that help. Children with special needs should also be able to receive the aid they need in order to function to the best of their ability. I wish to extend his thoughts to include psychological issues in both children and adults. People who are dealing with anxiety, depression, or any other mental issue should be able to seek the help they need in order to function properly, whether it be medicines, counseling, or any other related service. But we need to talk about it, get rid of the negative connotations that are attached, and help those who need help.

Anxiety and depression are not germs or viruses. You can't catch them if someone sneezes in your general vicinity. Children cannot track them in through the house after playing outside. Hugging someone suffering from a panic attack is not going to infect you. Reaching out to those who are suffering from depression is not going to cause a widespread pandemic. Talking about such things will not give you cooties. However, talking about this (in a positive manner, not insulting those who are already feeling weighted down by the world) can help people feel more comfortable coming forward if they are suffering. We are not alone. You are not alone. The more we speak up about these touchy, uncomfortable subjects, the less touchy and uncomfortable they become.

To my friend who spoke up today, I applaud your ability to do so. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I really hope the change in medicine that you discussed does the trick. Even if it doesn't, please know that a bunch of us are pulling for you and hoping you get some answers and solutions that help you live life to the fullest once more. Anytime you want to talk about what you are going through, we're here for you. You are not alone.