In case the world's population ever decides to just bump each other off, let the record show that I am too squeamish to survive. I've seen some of those post apocalyptic movies where there's merely a handful of people surviving in the outskirts of cities. They survive by eating the oddest things. I doubt I could ever resort to killing fat rodents for my dinner, nor could I chow down on the cockroaches that will surely keep on living when the rest of us are pushing up daisies. Heck, knowing my luck with food allergies, I'd be allergic to both rodent and roach. Anyway, I just know that if I get grossed out handling raw chicken before making dinner, I might have a difficult time killing, skinning, and otherwise preparing meat on my own.
I am not overly certain I would survive a sudden ice age either. I physically cannot stop shivering once the temperature drops below seventy-four degrees Fahrenheit, and that's even with wearing long sleeves. The last time I checked, ice does not tend to form in my preferred temperature range. I assume this means that an ice age would be a tad colder than I could reasonably expect to enjoy. I suppose it might be vaguely amusing to be flash frozen and thawed out a few millenia from now, provided whatever beings inhabit this planet are not merely heating me up for a light afternoon snack.
And forget about those zombie horror movies. I'd like to think I'm at least somewhat intelligent, although that might be up for debate given my train of thought this evening, and that might make me a prime target for someone undead who wants some fresh brains for dinner. I'm vaguely curious whether I would qualify as having a free-range or caged brain. If I ever find myself unexpectedly confronted by zombies, I shall have to ask.
A robot uprising might cause me more than a few problems, too. I have this nasty tendency to break all things electronic, from cell phones to computers to washing machines. I'm fairly certain that would come back to haunt me once artificial intelligence takes over the world. I am convinced that any artificial intelligence out there, even the dumbest, would recognize me as a potential threat. Those robots could compute my exact location, eliminate all but the best method of destroying me, and could carry out their plan before I would even have a chance to apply my electronic-killing self to the problem. Curse those central processing units!
And speaking of curses, we cannot forget those ancient curses that could potentially bring the undead back to, um, well...whatever the undead come back as. There are countless civilizations (and I use the term loosely because I doubt any group of people who liked to set curses on people who disturb their bones were truly civilized) whose long since forgotten cursed memories could come back to haunt us. I shall have to make a note to myself to not disturb any corpse parts I might accidentally uncover.
Seriously though, I do not typically worry about any of these scenarios. I've just been watching far too many movies lately. Even if one of those unlikely events should occur, my first (and possibly last) conscious thought would be how to take care of my children. In the grand scheme of things, threatened Mommies of all species tend to do whatever it takes to protect their babies, even in a zombie invasion. We have to protect those free-range brains, you know.
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